Whether or not you must live apart from your spouse during the divorce process depends on the rules of your state and the reason for your divorce. If you are seeking a divorce on the grounds of abandonment or desertion, or if you are seeking a no fault divorce, often you are required to have lived apart for at least six months to a year. However, it is possible that you may live in the same home and still be "separated" and "apart" in the eyes of the law. This is sometimes done for financial reasons.
Separation and Grounds for Divorce
Under divorce law, before you may legally end your marriage, you must have "grounds" for divorce. Traditionally, only "fault" grounds were recognized, meaning, someone had to have actually done something wrong. Today, every state has "no fault" grounds and fault divorces are becoming less and less common. No fault grounds mean that you and your spouse simply determine that you are no longer able to live together.
Regardless of whether you opt for a fault or a no fault divorce, there is usually a waiting period from the time when you decide you no longer want to be married to the time when a divorce is permitted. For example, in Virginia, you may file for divorce on the grounds of abandonment if your spouse has left you for a year. For a no fault divorce in Virginia, the waiting period from the time of separation to the time when you may divorce is 6 months, if you have no children, and a year if there are children involved. Other states have similar rules and requirements.
Under these rules, separation simply means that you are no longer living as man and wife, or engaging in marital relations. If you cannot afford to move out of your family home and you move into the guest room down the hall, you may still be viewed as separated as long as you don't engage in intercourse or other behavior that indicates an intention to act as a married couple. You may need to prove to the court that you have not engaged in "living together" as man and wife by presenting witnesses who have seen that you really are living separately, even though you are sharing a home, or they may take your word for it, depending on the situation.
Getting Help
Because the divorce law varies by state, it is always in your best interests to have a divorce lawyer if you wish to make sure your divorce goes as quickly and smoothly as possible.